Why I am so blessed when I am going through the roughest time in my life:
1) I have two absolutely amazing kids. I try really hard not to brag about their awesomeness, but when I need to find something positive going for me, most of the time they are all I have. They love me unconditionally when I am not the best Mom and they help a tremendous amount around the house. They do well in school, participating in lots of different activities and are not slaves to the TV or Xbox. They love nature and care about our world and animals and they both love learning. They still snuggle with me in bed and give me hugs and tell me how much they love me. Yes, I am blessed in ways that money could never, ever buy.
2) I have friends that have not forsaken me. I cry. I say inappropriate things. I get too loud. I drink too much. I forget things I am supposed to remember. I am now a moody, crazy woman. Yet, they still come around to check on me and look out for the kids and continue to ask how they can help. The world can be a big, scary, lonely place if not for the comfort of a friend or two. Even better: the friend who can be crass and make me laugh by saying the most politically incorrect statement that is funny because it is true. Not only do my friends take care of me, they bring Frances and Brad into their own families and show them the meaning of family and friendship and allow them to have second and third homes. Sometimes they magically appear to help with little things that need to be done around the house. The front yard weeded. The old paint cans disposed of. Lights hung in the bathroom. Sometimes they look out for Jim; offering to take him for walks and giving him rides to play tennis. Each little gesture adds up to enormous support that keeps us afloat.
3) My children attend great schools. They have principals who care. Teachers who care. A place they can disappear from their “real” world for a while. Brad’s school is doing a fundraiser this Saturday morning. They have been planning this fun run for months. One night, about 3 months ago, around 9 o’clock there was a knock at our door. There on our porch was one of our neighbors, the PTA treasurer. He had come straight over after a PTA meeting to apologize. It seems this huge endeavor was inadvertently scheduled for the same morning as our upcoming Walk to End Alzheimer’s. I have been told by numerous sources, all of whom were present in the meeting, that when it came to light that the two events were coinciding and it was too late to change the race, everyone felt horrible. It was decided that I needed to be told right away and we needed to know that they support our cause 100%. To counteract the fact the school will not be able to participate in the walk like they did last year, they have discussed Alzheimer’s Disease on the morning announcements, they have made donations to our team, they made the t-shirts for the race….PURPLE (the school color is blue), and they have reached out to me over and over again to support our family and remind us how much Brad means to them. In a time that I am feeling the pressure and stress of our situation, there is hardly a way to express the comfort that comes with knowing others are looking out for our children.
4) My children are active in sports and music and have teammates, coaches and instructors who help us whenever they can. I have had to rely on other parents to give both kids rides to practices or games. I have had to sit in the bleachers while Jim makes some inappropriate comments and search their faces to find they have (thankfully) no reaction. Sometimes, they see I need to be left alone and they let me sit in my chair, watching the game and allowing me to get lost in my own mind for a while. Sometimes I sit quietly, not even able to cheer, but I hear them, loud and clear, cheering for me. I have coaches who do not hold the fact I sometimes cannot get them to practice against either player (some coaches have been known to withhold playing time). Brad’s team is again participating in the walk for the second year. They are very busy families, and yet, they carve out a precious Saturday morning to show us how much they love us and care about us. How do you thank someone for that? You can donate to their team by clicking here. Both music teachers patiently forgive me each time I have to call and re-schedule a lesson. They offer tickets to music shows and bring smiles of joy to the kids’ faces with jokes and the shared love of a good piece of music.
5) I have parents who drive 4 hours each way to come help me with the kids and Jim. They call me almost every day to check on me. They ask about the activities we are doing, they take the kids for pizza and ice cream and if needed, remind them of their manners and chores. I never have to worry about letting them down…they have loved me when I wasn’t very loveable and they have supported me when I wasn’t very smart. They help me “parent” when I need the break from being a parent. They listen without judgment. They hug. They cry. They show up and keep showing up. They are above all else, my rock.
6) I have a home to protect us from the storms. This home is located in a village that surrounds us with support and help.
7) I have a job.
8) I have my health. As I watch Jim decline, I become more grateful for my own healthy mind (although there are times that may be debatable) and my own healthy body. I worry my health will suffer with the stress I feel on a daily basis, but I am hopeful that I will be strong enough to make it through.
9) I have new friends. I have made dozens of new friends through our advocacy for Alzheimer’s Disease and through my blog. I have heard so many stories and had so many words of support sent our way I have learned without a doubt we are not alone in this fight.
10) I am alive. I am blessed to just be awake on this side of the dirt beneath my feet. I sometimes forget to cherish the fact I am sharing in the lives of my children, my brother, my parents, my friends and Jim. There was a time in my life I was worried about living long enough for the kids to know me. Now I am grateful they do and I want more. I want them to know me with their children.
Sometimes it is extremely difficult to remember how blessed I am. How blessed our family is. Sometimes, I cannot see the sunshine in our lives but I am only focused on the black cloud I seem to be immersed in. Sometimes, after the rain shower, a rainbow emerges to light the way.