Time to buy a new bucket.

Jim, Frances and Brad with our tagged tree. Nov 2013.

Yeah! We finally went and tagged a tree. Nov 2013.

Brad has fish. He loves his fish. They are in a tank in his room. He feeds them every morning and they have survived for over a year. Every month the rest of the family pitches in and changes out the water. It usually only takes about 15 minutes and is a nice team effort.

Recently it was way past time to do the fish tank. I was still in my PJ’s at 2 pm on a Sunday, having spent the day cleaning, baking bread and fixing a meal for a dinner party we were hosting. Our guest would be arriving shortly and I had everything planned out. I had time for the fish tank. This would fit in and work with plenty of time for me to shower and get ready while Frances baked some brownies.

We start the process.  I realize as the water is quickly rising up the bucket that we don’t have the second bucket for the water being siphoned out of the tank. I yell to Jim, who is across the hall in the bathroom filling water jugs, that we need the other bucket. He quickly runs outside and in a few minutes returns with another large bucket to put the completely gross fish water in.

All is going well until I look down and see that the bucket is leaking. Fast. There is a very long split in the side  and the water is going straight under Brad’s bed. Which is heavy.  And has drawers full of clothes under it.  Which the water is quickly disappearing beneath. Ughhh. And I let it be known that Jim got the wrong bucket (this has happened before). In the rush to find something quickly, he grabbed the one with the big crack in it that we had just discussed not 30 minutes before when he was collecting items to use for the water switch. I had reminded him NOT to get the bucket with the holes in it (for a drainage project he started months ago) or the one that leaked when we did the tank previously. Looking back, I am kicking myself for not paying closer attention; for not making him get rid of the cracked bucket; for not getting all of the items needed myself. You see where all of this can lead….to a person completely having a breakdown. So, I have to let go of the hindsight scenarios and remember for the next time. It is very difficult to be environmentally friendly and economical sometimes when you have a person with Alzheimer’s Disease living in your home. The easy solution is to just throw EVERYTHING out, which isn’t practical or environmentally sound.

Yes, I lost it just a little. Not as bad as I have in the past, but since I haven’t lost it in a while, it was a setback. It almost feels like an alcoholic that is counting the days. And then when you slip, you have to start counting again from day 1. I have to start back over. Damn. I had been doing so good.

Brad whispered to me a while after, when I was back in the kitchen fixing the salad…”I knew Dad was having a bad day when he forgot how to play table football.”

What do you say to your 9 year old son who has to live each day trying to figure out how his Dad is doing? But the worst thing he said: “Mom, please don’t be mad at him. He can’t help it. It isn’t his fault.”

Yes, I am starting over. Back to single digit days and working my way up to another milestone. My advantage? Two loving children who are keeping me on the right path and looking out for us both.

posted by Karen in Early Signs of Alzheimer's,Early Stages of Alzheimer's Disease,Uncategorized,Younger Onset Alzheimer's Disease and have Comments (4)

4 Responses to “Time to buy a new bucket.”

  1. Lee Ann says:

    Well, we all are human and cannot have the patience of Job. You are still adjusting to the whole medical problem and it will change and you will be adjusting over and over. Give yourself a break. Step back and look at how you handled it. Probably just like I would, or any number of people would. Its not easy, If you sat down and wrote down all the things going on that you have to adjust to, it would be a long list. I will say it again, because I haven’t seen you discuss it, I would suggest a support group. Even if they are all 85 years old, there are similarities and hopes and dreams in them also. And when you say you just don’t have the time, do you have the time NOT to? It would help tremendously. We are all here and will help, but there is just nothing better than someone sitting there crying right along with you, or looking into your eyes and seeing the hurt in their eyes too. Hope your entertaining was fun.

  2. Maureen says:

    It’s progress not perfection as in most of life’s challenges. Hang in there. You have your hands full. It’s my experience to leave more time for everything. A dinner party, time to get ready, and also clean the fish tank? The fish can wait til tomorrow. Lower your expectations and your stress will be lowered. And, there’s no going back, no starting from square one! You have already come so far. Be kind to yourself. xoxo Maureen

  3. Michelle Fox says:

    From the mouths of babes…how sweet. I would have lost it too. You will re-gain your foothold and move forward again.

  4. mike matejevich says:

    I just came across your posting about Jim in the Hyperbaric chamber for some treatments. I love this idea and I was looking for it as a treatment for my autistic nephew. How did Jim do? I hope he did well. Any progress would be a blessing.

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