Would someone please give me back my husband? Even if for a day? Can I please have the man who swept me off my feet with flowers and cards and love letters? Can I feel his arms around me, strong and steady and making me feel so protected and secure? Can we please, please have another day of carefree happiness and conversation? Yes! Conversations where he has an opinion and we have easy banter back and forth for hours.Hours that seem like minutes. A voice strong and clear and gentle and warm.
Can I please hear the wisdom in his words and the clearness of his voice? Will you please give me a day to lay under the stars in Vegas again dreaming together of a life yet to unfold?
Who can capture the many talents our children’s father had so they can learn from him and remember he was a jack of all trades? Will you please let them see he was one of those special Dads? The kind that has patience and energy and love and wisdom and talents to share and do so willingly. The Dad who helps coach their teams and is PTA Vice-President. The Dad who takes off work to attend doctor visits. Give him a day to teach Brad woodworking and firemaking and how to work on a car. Let Frances see that a man can be strong and yet help around the house and iron his own clothes and mend his own socks. Show both kids the man who volunteered at their schools and was a big kid himself. Let them witness his natural athletic ability and give them more chances to play ball with the man who would love nothing more than to do so. Let them laugh at his sense of humor and memorize his laughter.
I am begging you to let them have their time to learn and remember….remember him as the father he was, not how he is. Remember the nights he was up, holding them and singing to them. Remember the books he read, the baths he gave, the messes he cleaned. Remember his laughter and the twinkle in his eye and the wit in his words. Show them the Dad who would spend hours playing ball or working on a puzzle or whatever tickled their fancy.
Why are you taking their Dad from them? Why are you being so cruel to these innocent kids? Why are you leaving me alone and searching for a way to survive?
Please give me another day of hearing Jim up first thing in the morning, starting his morning routine and getting more done before I thought of getting out of bed than I would accomplish all day. Let me see him in action, installing the sprinkler system in the backyard and building a shed and rewiring an outlet.
Can he please drive us again to a movie that he will be able to follow and enjoy? And can he take my hand and hold it, making me feel special and loved and wanted?
Will you please let me see Jim, with his back ramrod straight, so rigid and proud? So sure of himself and capable of anything…..a leader and a good, good soul.
Will you take away the burdens I face each day so I am able to just focus on him and see him for all he was and still is?
Please take him to the 3 states he has left to make it to all 50. Give him back himself long enough to be able to travel and enjoy the views.
Please give him a day to enjoy the awesome children that belong to him; that he raised and showered with affection for so many days. Let him hear them say “I love you” and to say it back. Let him watch their ball games and their school shows and understand how amazing they are. Let him enjoy their music and their jokes and their laughter. Let him not get irritated and quiet. Let him speak so they can hear his stories so they will be able to recall them to their own children one day.
What can I do to let you give me back my best friend and my biggest fan? How come you have taken him from us? Please give him back, if only for a short time.
Stop. Stop taking him. Stop robbing him of his family and his life and his abilities. Stop being so cruel.
Stop making him a victim. He is not a victim. He is an amazing person, with an amazing ability to do crossword puzzles and to remember jokes and to build things. Please give Jim back his natural smile and quick wit. Please stop robbing him of his natural easiness. He has lots of it and you shouldn’t be taking it away from him. And you shouldn’t be taking him away from his children.