A Poem Share. Your Welcome.

The following is a moving, perfect poem I received after Jim passed away. The author, Cici Reagan, is an amazing writer with an exceptional blog: www.reaganeyes.com  Her Momma was a dear friend whom I have written about and who was taken from us way too early by ALS.

This morning,

I looked at my phone

And saw the news.

 

I imagined you writing it,

Selecting the photo.

I imagine it felt weirdly final.

 

I thought about

You telling the kids,

And how I found out

About my mother.

 

You’re in the shit of it, now.

The real,

Serious,

Worst part

Because now it’s over

And you get to feel guilty

Without punching a clock.

 

Almost six years

Has bought me perspective

But the truth

Will still overwhelm me

If I give it the chance.

It does not fade.

 

It is the sharp knife

You had to leave in

So you didn’t bleed out,

The swollen scar tissue

That formed around it.

 

And I want to tell you

It is impossible

To do everything right.

 

These days,

And those that have passed,

Will always be the darkest of your lives

And that is not your fault.

You could always be more patient,

More loving,

Slower to anger,

Relentlessly selfless.

But it would not matter.

 

I wish I could ease your troubled mind;

I wish I could be there.

I am so far away.

 

But all I can think

Is that I’ve stood where you stand

And platitudes matter little.

 

The anticipation is over

And the real grief begins

And I couldn’t be more sorry

For your terrible loss.

 

I love you all

More than I

Could ever say.

Cici Reagan

posted by Karen in Uncategorized and have Comments (5)

5 Responses to “A Poem Share. Your Welcome.”

  1. LaQuita Herrin says:

    So honestly heartfelt. I am sorry for your loss, coming from another EOAD wife still fighting for her husband.

  2. Lorrie says:

    I wish that I could take the pain away for you and your family. Deep breaths,alot more tears to come. You WILL get thru this one moment at a time. Hugs and prayers.

  3. Lee Ann says:

    That poem says it all. I remember when my Mom passed from cancer, I was at peace because I felt that I’d been a good daughter and nothing was unsaid. As the years went by, I would remember some trivial little thing and feel a tinge of guilt because I didn’t do something exactly right. And the more I worried the worse the guilty feelings came. Now 15 years out, I have given up on the guilt, thinking I didn’t do enough, i was impatient at times, I wasn’t as good as somebody else was at doing this. Remember as you go through this horrible sad grieving, that you did a great job. You were an excellent caregiver. Remember the love, the good experiences, you were indeed “enough”. I hope you have peace within yourselves. Its a long haul, but you have enough love to get through it.

  4. nena says:

    Absolutely beautiful and heartbreaking. This poem says so much. Much love, care, and prayers continue for you and kids.

  5. Andrea says:

    Thank you for sharing the poem. I appreciate knowing that the guilt and regrets are normal. I am sorry for your loss and have prayed for all of you many times. May God bless you all.

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